"You made me fucking care-" He drags his gaze away, breath rucked and a little wild and he just can't look at Arthur, can't bring his eyeline back to the other man, "Back then. You made me want to be better. I was trying to impress you all the bloody time. Arthur, I'm - I'm not a good person, I never will be, and I've come to terms with that fact. I know I'm wicked on the inside. I know I fuck with everything I get near and that's why I don't, not anymore. I shouldn't have stuck around, I shouldn't have stayed."