loadedparadox | Risking everything he never knew he had

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Risking everything he never knew he had - For eamesofdreams

It was like a dream collapsing around you after the dreamer woke up. It was all falling apart before Arthur had ever really had a chance to know what he had. He hadn't wanted to leave Ariadne, holding that petite form to his with a hope that it would just all go away. Except it wouldn't and she was right. She deserved to know everything, to make an informed decision. Deep down he knew it was all hers to make. It always had been.

He cheated in tracking down Eames. An hour earlier and he'd have looked in every bar and hole in the wall dive near the warehouse. Instead he used the GPS in Eames' phone, figuring the other man hadn't known Arthur had turned it on one day after realizing just how close Eames and Ariadne were. He had to look out for her, now, then, always.

In the time between leaving her place and arriving at the bar, he had pulled himself together. Pushing open the door, standing there lit by pulsating neon and dim behind the bar lights, Arthur wasn't thinking of the image he presented. Stony face with his jaw tight and dark eyes narrowed, his suit impeccable and probably costing more than the cars some of the people drove. He didn't care about anything but tracking down Eames and doing what he'd promised. Finding out just where things stood.

And if he got angry enough over the replaying image in his head - the one of Eames smiling as he shot himself - then he had no qualms about settling this with a hard right other than words.

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"Then how could you think I hated you," he challenged, arching a brow. "Right. Trusting you. If she hits me, I'm hitting you later."

"That's different, and maybe one day I'll explain all of that to you darling, but right now it's irrelevant."

He throws Arthur a look over his shoulder, the slightest of smiles, "You keep saying that. I doubt you're actually going to do it though."

"If you had been there when I came out of the dream, I would have." He had no doubt about that. "And then I would have left." Likely for good. Instead he'd talked to Ariadne and gotten himself here. 'Besides, you'd probably like it too much."

"Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually like having my arse handed to me. Being a soldier makes that less kinky than you'd believe."

Arthur paused then, considering that but he said nothing, filing it away. "I've made a point of trying to ignore your sexual proclivities due to my need not to think about it."

Apparently, Eames doesn't even realise what he's said, the little slip-up of information that he's just given out. He shrugs, keeping his hands in his pockets to give him something to do and there's another ghost of a smile on his face when he looks back, "Best not, Arthur."

Arthur chuckled. "You might have to deal with me doing it from here on out though. I do feel I have a stake in this."

He raises an eyebrow, expression a little close, interested, amused and wholly fond all at the same time, "A gentleman never lets on."

Arthur paused a step, straightened his shoulders. "Yes, of course. Certainly not my business what you, or Ariadne do. Forgive me overstepping my bounds."

He frowns, before falling right into step beside Arthur, shoulders brushing slightly as he walks. Dropping his voice, Eames leans in so that only Arthur can hear, "Nobody ever made out I was actually a gentleman, Arthur. Be good and I might just tell you all about it, mm?"

Arthur nearly laughed but the sound wasn't quite humourous. "Eames, after what I've admitted tonight, do you truly think I want to know about your sexual exploits with ever? At least without wanting to see them destroyed?" Possessive, much?

"Not that I'm saying others socializing with you is going to upset me, I just don't wish to know."

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of telling you every thought I've ever had about you, Arthur," Eames counters back, trying to cover up the shiver Arthur's words send down his spine, "But if you'd rather I just keep them to myself."

Arthur actually bit his lip at that, wanting to grab him and kiss him again.

"I... I find that to be more than acceptable," he said, voice lower and huskier than it had been. "Though right here and now might derail us."

Just brushing his hand against Arthur's for the slightest of moments, "Yes Arthur, being arrested for public indencey would disrupt the mission."

It was those little touches that were going to do him in. Biting back a teasing comment about cuffs, he sobered thinking about their destination.

"I don't have words for how ifeel about her." Or Eames for that matter. He just never verbalized them well.

"I'm fairly certain she's aware of that, Arthur. The normal rules don't apply in this case. Just because you can't be eloquent about some things doesn't mean you don't feel them. I think when you've been through all of this with someone, words don't really have that much sway."

Arthur snorted, giving Eames a look. "From the man that thought I hated him, not sure how reassuring that is."

"Completely different," Eames replies in a way that shows he whole heartedly believes in the fact. That it's possible, is still possible, but not the other instance, "Shut it, darling. Anything I've said today wouldn't stand. They're all induced by my new friend scotch."

"Yes, ignore your honesty." He shook his head, looking at Eames fondly. "Because I have ever put up with anyone I hate," he said, almost as if to himself.

"I plan to. Anyway, the entire world knows what a liar I am. The thought of me telling the truth would destroy the whole infrastructure."

Arthur didn't say a word, staring ahead but not watching anyone. He didn't believe a word of it, but that didn't stop a momentary emotional reaction. That was going to become Arthur's issue in all this, and already he knew he needed to control his emotions for his own sake.

"I'm sure we'll learn to adapt."

"You're thinking too hard," Eames murmurs, intending it to sound like a complaint but really it just comes out concerned and curious, "I didn't lie to you, Arthur. I won't. I'm just saying that - I don't know. We're all very stuck in our natures. Change can happen, it just might take time."

"I'm not asking you to change, Eames. Nor do I expect you to.I was more refering to my own need to adapt to a few things," he said, voice neutral and controlled, but not clipped."Nothing to be concerned about. Or annoyed." The last added with a slight smile.

"It's a shame I like you just the way you are then, hm?"

"I think it speaks of your good taste in things, but I have to accept that I need to adjust to being more...forthcoming. If</> this works out. Otherwise it is a moot point."

Certainly he would have no need for control if he bailed and went back to being a dark force in freelancing.

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