Risking everything he never knew he had - For eamesofdreams

[loadedparadox]

It was like a dream collapsing around you after the dreamer woke up. It was all falling apart before Arthur had ever really had a chance to know what he had. He hadn't wanted to leave Ariadne, holding that petite form to his with a hope that it would just all go away. Except it wouldn't and she was right. She deserved to know everything, to make an informed decision. Deep down he knew it was all hers to make. It always had been.

He cheated in tracking down Eames. An hour earlier and he'd have looked in every bar and hole in the wall dive near the warehouse. Instead he used the GPS in Eames' phone, figuring the other man hadn't known Arthur had turned it on one day after realizing just how close Eames and Ariadne were. He had to look out for her, now, then, always.

In the time between leaving her place and arriving at the bar, he had pulled himself together. Pushing open the door, standing there lit by pulsating neon and dim behind the bar lights, Arthur wasn't thinking of the image he presented. Stony face with his jaw tight and dark eyes narrowed, his suit impeccable and probably costing more than the cars some of the people drove. He didn't care about anything but tracking down Eames and doing what he'd promised. Finding out just where things stood.

And if he got angry enough over the replaying image in his head - the one of Eames smiling as he shot himself - then he had no qualms about settling this with a hard right other than words.

Comments

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

Arthur's eyes closed for a moment, smiling at the accent, the light touch between them, the lessening of a tension he'd likely been carrying about since Mal.

"Not entirely true. What I've found out about you over the year barely could fill a thimble." And certainly hadn't included military service.

[plagiary]

"Well, clearly you're not asking the right questions. But it's a two way street, love. Don't worry about it."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"You've never seemed to want to answer." Not to mention he wasn't sure he could.

[plagiary]

With a shrug, "My past can still find me Arthur. I had to do some very stupid things to get away and that means that I can't ever let anyone find out who I am."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"Eventually you have to trust someone," he said softly. "And you should know you don't have to face anything alone."

[plagiary]

"I do. I trust you and Ariadne with my life now. The person I was died a very long time ago, he was completely different, different name, different life, different everything. What's the point of dragging that up when I can stay under the radar?"

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

Arthur caught Eames' arm, well below the tattoo, and pulled him around to face him. "I'm just saying, you're not alone in this no matter what happens once we get there. Understood? You're not alone in this anymore."

He understood leaving behind your past, but as far as he knew, his wasn't haunting him.

[plagiary]

"I'll bear that in mind, darling. I really will. But it's not really a tale I like telling, all things said." Eames huffs out a sigh, tired looking and a little wary, "Maybe one day. But it - it would be so easy to unravel and I'm not sure I could let that happen. All you'd need is my name and you'd know everything."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

Arthur shook his head. "You don't understand. I'm not asking. Keep your secrets," he said, honestly meaning it. "But if anything were to happen... Don't think you're alone. I'm not entirely unable to protect myself. Just saying."

[plagiary]

"Nobody's going to - I've done a lot worse since becoming Eames, darling. Petty crime isn't exactly newsworthy to someone like you," he tilts his head a little, looking off into the distance, "It's just that - I hated my life an awful lot. It was just one long, tiresome slope that continued going down hill no matter what I did. And half of that was very public."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

He tensed at that. Someone like you. Did he mean just his life as a pointman, or did Eames know the man he'd been with the Syndicate. Was that the legacy he was bringing to this relationship that might not be?

"I'm only saying, if you want someone at your back, you have it. That's all."

And he let it go at that, starting to walk again.

[plagiary]

Eames follows him, sloping behind him in a zig-zag of movement, "I used to rob post-offices. Or garages. Really stupid places actually, there was never any money in it."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"Robbed post offices? Really?" He chuckled at that. "My partner in crime, the brute," he said, smiling though.

[plagiary]

"Tights on my head and everything," Eames smiles, almost very slightly fond as he shoves his hands in his pockets, "I had a sawn-off shotgun and I thought I was the fucking bomb, darling. Seventeen, skinny as fuck, robbing post offices. It's not very glamorous, is it?"

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

That definitely got a chuckle. "I'm sure you were the hottest criminal in England," he said with a smile. "Glamour isn't everything," he said, considering his past, the way Hollywood glamourised the life he'd led.

[plagiary]

"I guess I thought so, wasn't so hot when I got arrested though. And I did, an awful lot. I lacked all sorts of finesse back then."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

He had said it, hadn't he? About this being a two way street. Arthur took a deep breath. "I.. I was right hand to the syndicate boss by the time I was seventeen. My father raised me in the life. Glamourous? I was wearing Armani when I was fifteen. Entirely overrated," he noted with a roll of his eyes. "Glamour, that is."

/forgot to update iPod.

[plagiary]

"You know I'm always here -- if you ever need anyone to listen. I don't judge, darling."

SLEEEP!

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"I know. I know you wouldn't, and you would understand so many of the things I did. Maybe some day. Soon. Just not tonight. I've put you through enough, and it isn't over."

/missed this tag. oops. stupid inbox

[plagiary]

"Okay darling. But just - remember that you can talk, mm? If there's ever an occassion where you'd want to."

Never a worry or a rush

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

Arthur nodded. "Of course." Not that he wanted to burden either of them with his past. He and Eames definitely had that in common.

[plagiary]

"Christ, this is a bit weird, mm?" Eames rubs a hand over his jaw and holds out a hand before Arthur can reply, "Not bad weird, you understand, just -"

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"Very weird." He glanced at Eames. "Things aren't going to change between us. I mean, I could handle not being called arsehole as a term of endearment but you're not going to start batting your lashes or anything, right?" He couldn't help it, turning his head slightly to hide his smile.

[plagiary]

"Are you telling me you don't find the idea of me simpering over you attractive, Arthur?" Eames asks, fake sweetness running through his voice before he starts laughing, "Fuck no, I'm not suddenly going to become a lost sodding puppy."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

Arthur snorted. "If I was looking for that type, I could have had it a million times over by now." He knew well enough he was both attractive and well dressed, after all. "Just making sure. I'd hate to have to..." He stopped, realizing the joke he'd been about to make wasn't right. "Back when... After..."

He took a deep breath, considering his words. "I'm only going to say this once and I will deny it if asked. I was an idiot to bolt when I did. It was easier than dealing with her and you and so I took the coward's way out because it was easier than thinking about you being next. I apologize."