(no subject)

[loadedparadox]

For: eamesofdreams
What: Playing poolside
Warning: Adult themes and for mature audiences only.

Following Eames into the cabana, Arthur pulled the curtains closed and secured them. He knew he should be going to see Mike, see to things with him and after Tony's behavior but it was the difference in the man that Arthur had once been and who he was now. Those he answered to were secondary to him now, perhaps even less, whereas those that he loved came first and always would.

Yet he didn't move for Eames to touch and fondle. He watched him, looking a bit nervous.

"You're certain you're okay from what happened?"

Comments

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"I don't need you to apologize, Eames. You're speaking your mind. If that's how you feel, I accept that." He leaned in towards Eames, meeting the other man's gaze. "And if you do see me differently because of this, then I need to know. I can't fix things if I don't find out what's wrong."

[plagiary]

"No, I don't see you any bloody different because of something that wanker said."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

He was silent a moment and then lightly brushed his fingers against the inside of Eames' wrist. "Maybe I'm worried that I do," he said softly. "That I'm seeing myself as less of the man I've been because of what you saw." He was hesitant in his touch, watching Eames closely, trying to judge where they stood after his outburst.

[plagiary]

"You shouldn't," he comments quietly, hesitantly, "You shouldn't let a roach like him win."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"He hasn't won. I have you. I have Ariadne. I have a life that I never thought I could have. You've given me family, Eames. He hasn't won anything. Not unless his acts lose me what matters."

[plagiary]

"Fine," he replies, spreading his hands in a gesture of surrender, "All right Arthur, it's fine and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed, you know what you're doing."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

He snorted before he caught himself, looking away suddenly. For a long time he said nothing, considering his words. "No, Eames. I don't. I've never actually had a relationship to compare this all to. The closest I have is Mal and Dom."

[plagiary]

"I shouldn't have pushed," Eames replies softly, searching for the rest of his clothes now the mood has passed, "Not my place."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"Eames..." He sighed, moving to catch his arm but hesitating, worrying he was asking for too much. "Yes, it is. You're my boyfriend, part of my life. If you're bothered by something, you have right to say it. Just like we do. Would you want us holding things back because it might upset one of us or should we talk about it?"

[plagiary]

"And I've said it, and now I'm not pushing," he replies, tugging his shorts back on and looking at Arthur, "Darling, it's fine."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

Arthur watched Eames a moment, his expression pinched, pained until he took a breath, schooling his features and reaching for his shorts. "Understood. Of course. Fine." Voice the sort he used for work, pulling himself back in and protected, mentally running over it all to try and determine where he'd gone wrong.

[plagiary]

"I wish you wouldn't do that, darling."

He runs a hand through his hair, disordering the still damp mess as he glances at Arthur, "We're not fighting, so you don't need to put your walls up and shut me out."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

Arthur paused, fingers curled around the cord of his trunks, about to tie them. He glanced at Eames, mouth opening and then closing before he smiled. It was a soft smile, watery, but he smile as he tied the strings. "Nope. Not fighting. Like you said, we're fine. I'm not shutting you out. I swear."

[plagiary]

"Okay."

He turns away to get his breathing in control, ignoring the unhappy swoop of his stomach. Miscommunication has never really been Eames' thing and now it makes him feel awkward in his own skin.

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"Eames..." He sighed, dropping down to sit. "Please. If you need us to be fine, then we're fine. I swear. I'm sorry I am uncomfortable here but I'm not shutting you out, just trying not to worry."

[plagiary]

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Eames holds up a hand as if to ward off whatever Arthur is saying, "Arthur, would you stop that please? This is what I'm getting at, you orientate yourself to other's needs so much, I doubt you even know what you want yourself. What if you're not fine, mm?"