And the walls come crumbling down - for dreamsofmazes

[loadedparadox]

Eames had shot himself. It might have been in a dream but all that was going on between them had gotten so bad the man would rather shoot himself and end the dream rather than have it out with Arthur. That may have only led to a row to end all they might have shared except for one thing.

Mal.

Even if she was a shade of herself, an invention of his mind to deal with loss and pain and need, Arthur could not bring himself to defame her memory by not heeding her advice.

Right after he kicked Eames' ass for that little stunt.

The warehouse was empty, the lawn chair still warm. Arthur made his choice in a second and a short cab ride later he was banging on Ariadne's door. Angry, upset and determined, he didn't allow himself time to stop and think. If he did he might second guess what he was about to do.

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[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"She was." He said the words softly, shoulders straightening a bit as he dismissed the emotions that came with thinking about Mal.

"What is there to talk about? He shot himself," he said in a firm, rough voice. The sight had been painful, even if a dream. "He doesn't want to talk."

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

Furrowing her brow, she pursed her lips together and looked at him. "There is a lot to talk about. Because Arthur, you still care about him. Because, if you didn't you wouldn't have come storming over here, looking for him. And well, he still cares about you. And he is only hiding that emotion, for who the hell knows why. But he is. He doesn't do shit like that, for nothing. Obviously, you both need to work out things. Because, I can't sit here knowing, I'm standing in the way of something that could be. I'm sorry Arthur, but it's not fair to me." She said, looking at him with a sorry look. "As much as I love you. I can't sit by knowing you both are keeping shit hidden from each other. Just so you don't have to deal with it. Or hurt me."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"I came storming here because he is being a damn brat and upsetting us both and damned if I had arranged a job and then he took off to Morocco, where would that have left us?"

And now it was all Arthur logic, which was skewed as anyone else might be. "And neither of us knows he still cares for me. That could entirely be the problem, Ariadne. I pushed things the other night and now he's stuck in a corner, risking upsetting our working relationship or God knows what." And now he was seeing things one way. "When I called his bluff, he said it was for the best he wasn't around me, Ariadne. That isn't the talk of someone who has that kind of emotion."

His hand went to his suit pocket, pulling out the small moleskin book, not opening it but holding it. "You're not standing in the way of anything. God, how could you think that? How could you think either of us wants anything but you in our lives? You're right though. What I've done isn't fair. Not to either of you." He set the book down, straightening his tie, adjusting the knot. Physically clothing and emotional armor.

He stopped, staring at her. "What I've done hasn't been fair to either of you."

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

Ariadne just shook her head, looking down at the empty wine glass in front of her, not wanting to look up to long. "I know he cares about you. I'm not dumb. He doesn't shoot himself in the damn head, just to avoid a conversation like that, if he didn't care, he is hiding those feelings, that’s all. He thinks he doesn't deserve being happy, I know that, trust me. Why do you think, I push him so much in to this domestic lifestyle? I'm trying to show him he can be happy. And if being happy with you, is what you both need. Then who am I to stand in the way of you both? I would give anything to make you guys happy. Don't you see that?"

Glancing up at him a moment, she shrugged. "If I have to talk to him, so be it. I just need to know. I can't do this to myself. Maybe that is selfish of me. But honestly, I don't know what else to do. So when I talk to him, and he tells me he wants to be with you, which he will. You're going to do it, right?"

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"Ariadne, who are you? You're one of the few people in this world I will never let go of, and that is a very small list. You're his best friend. I can see that," he said, echoing her words. "No. I won't make you do that. I won't have you going to talk to him." Not when Mal had done it and was dead and he knew it wasn't the same but that didn't mean it didn't worry him.

"I never should have said anything. Not to him or you."

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

Running a hand down her face, buying her a moment to think. "Arthur. I want you to come to me with anything. And I mean anything. You know I would have figured something out, sooner or later. I'm too damn nosy not to."

"If you don't want me to talk to him, that's fine. I understand. I do not want to give you up for anything. I wish you knew just how damn much you mean to me. But I worry; I can't give you what he can. And I need you to be happy. So you need to talk to him. I need to know what to do. I'm sorry, but I need you to deal with this. Figure out what you want. Because, I can't sit and wonder. So please do this soon."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"Do you know the last time I dated I was still a teenager," he said softly. "And this is why. Emotions and I aren't exactly the best of friends. It's the one thing I handle poorly." Which was why his first thought was a new name, a new place, start over and let them have their life.

He opened his mouth to argue that she gave him so much more than he ever thought he had, that there was nothing in this world Eames could give him she couldn't. "Why do you think I can't be happy with you? That I'm not happy with you?" Picking back up the notebook, he held it tight in both hands.

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

"And do I look like I know anything about relationships Arthur?" She close the space between them, looking up at him, running her hand across his jawline. "I love you Arthur. I do. Trust me, I know I do. And I want you happy more then anything in the world. I just need to know how Eames feels." Because, if making you both happy means, stepping aside, she will. It's going to break her heart, but she will do it. Just to know he is happy.

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

His jaw tightened slightly, chin raising. Then he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him, needing more than anything to hide his face in that moment, pressing his cheek to the top of her head. "Why does it have to matter? I know how I feel about you. I know it is some of the most real emotions I have ever experienced." He wasn't sure he even knew the words she'd said, but he knew that he hated himself in that moment, and that was an emotion he'd never felt, not even when he realized how deeply he'd let Dom down.