And the walls come crumbling down - for dreamsofmazes

[loadedparadox]

Eames had shot himself. It might have been in a dream but all that was going on between them had gotten so bad the man would rather shoot himself and end the dream rather than have it out with Arthur. That may have only led to a row to end all they might have shared except for one thing.

Mal.

Even if she was a shade of herself, an invention of his mind to deal with loss and pain and need, Arthur could not bring himself to defame her memory by not heeding her advice.

Right after he kicked Eames' ass for that little stunt.

The warehouse was empty, the lawn chair still warm. Arthur made his choice in a second and a short cab ride later he was banging on Ariadne's door. Angry, upset and determined, he didn't allow himself time to stop and think. If he did he might second guess what he was about to do.

Comments

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

Scratching her head, she nodded, making her way to the kitchen. She needed a moment to just think. Not that, she couldn't understand. It was just something she didn't think about ever. She always figured there was something between them. Just what it was, well, she was never sure. But now she had some hints at the cause for the tension.

"Oh." She said, leaning against the kitchen island, facing him. "Guess, I never really thought about you two like that. Sorry." She shrugged, pouring out a glass of wine for herself. Setting a glass over at the edge for Arthur, hoping he was going to join her. "So you still have feelings for him?"

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

Despite the ache he had to follow her, Arthur stood his ground. He was laying this out for Ariadne, but whatever she did or said, he would take it. He should have handled this all better and now it was falling apart. If he threw him out, he would live with that and leave it to her to come to him. If she ever did.

"No reason to think of us that way. Especially in the time you've known us." He hesitated though before coming over and pouring himself a glass. Drinking had gotten him into this mess. "What matters is that I have feelings for you, Ariadne. I got drunk and lost a bit of control. Old memories were dredged up that weren't tinged with Mal's death. I allowed myself a weak moment. It won't happen again." He looked down at his wine, not drinking it, and then looked up at her. "But I'll understand if I should have been more upfront with you sooner and if me having those feelings bother you. I can withdraw from thing with Eames aside from work, and even that if needed. I can..." He shook his head. "I can fix this. I can control my emotions better."

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

"Sorry, I'm just trying to understand this." Taking a long sip of her wine, she peered over her glass at him. "So you have feelings for him still? Which I suppose is fine. You are allowed those feelings. I mean, it's Eames, so I never have thought about him that way. But I suppose, other do." She said, furrowing her brow, setting her glass down. "And are you thinking this is why he is leaving?"

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"Whatever you need," he said, not drinking. "And you don't need to apologize. I owe you a million of them just for the last few days." He paced slightly, not drinking the wine. "I don't know why he's leaving but we haven't had a civil word with one another since then and then..."

He shook his head. "We were in the dream and it had been jokes and then next thing I knew I was telling him about Mal coming to me and he said something about Mal doing the same with him and then... Then the bastard ran from talking it out with me and I'm still going to hit him when I find him. He even bolted from the warehouse."

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

Gazing down at the counter, playing with the edge of her wine glass, she let a few things process in her head. "So obviously, he still has feelings for you as well. Eames, doesn't run unless, he is hiding from something. So obviously, you said something to him to make him do that." She said, a hushed tone to her.

"Maybe you should be trying to talk to him, not me. Because obviously, I not sure I would understand your past with him. But seems like there is something there with you two still."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"And I'm with you." He didn't snap the words, saying them softly as he spun to face her, setting his wineglass on the table and coming to stand before her. "At least, I think I'm with you and I want to be with you, Ariadne. You're everything I've said. Brilliant and beautiful and I love the time I spend with you and I don't smile with anyone as much as I do with you."

He was earnest, heartfelt in it all. "Whatever he has, he doesn't want it. I can have better control. I can work with him and not put him in a position to run again. I'll talk to him, and even if he has to go to Morocco, I'll get the job information and I promise you he'll come back and life will go back to what it was a week ago. If..." He paused then, bracing himself in a moment for what he was sure was to come. "If you'll still have me, Ariadne."

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

Glancing up at him, then back down at the counter, just trying to find the words that she wanted. "You never lost me, Arthur. But...I don't want to stand in the way of anything. I mean..." She shrugged, not finding the words she needed. "I don't know what, I mean. You and Eames need to work this out."

Finishing up the rest of her wine, she looked back up at him. "Whatever you two decided. I’ll be here you know that. And I'll respect whatever you both decided."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"Ariadne," he whispered, almost pleading but not allowing himself to break that far. "I don't know what to say. All I see is me losing the only people I care about. Already Dom's just... distant. He should be. He has his life. I never thought I would be here like this. I don't date. I don't bring people into my life beyond work, but I want you as part of my life. I know I asked you out on a date, but I'm asking you out, Ariadne. I want to find out what we can be."

He heard those words but feared it was a way of saying goodbye, of assuming she was going to be tossed aside for Eames.

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

"Arthur, I want to be with you, I do. You have no idea how badly I do." She said, with a weak smile. "I'm not going anywhere. I just, I don't want to be a reason for stress between anyone. You are too important to me, to let that happen. And Eames...well, I just don't want to be any issue for you guys."

CHEATING ICON

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

It never occurred to him what she was saying. "And what's happen if he wants to pursue what I abandoned when Mal died?"

:P I have no cheating icons!

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

"If that's what you both need. Then I'm not going to stop you both. I'm still your guys friends, first and foremost." Because, she honestly wants them both happy. And she will find a way to deal. She knows that. "You just need to talk to Eames. I won't stand in your way."

Arthur thinks they all are cheating icons

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"Ariadne, stop it. I just asked you to be my girlfriend. Nothing is going to change that, no matter what Eames were to say," he said, his hand going to her shoulder. "Yes, you're my friend. I want more. I won't throw that away for anything."

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

Letting out a breath, she wasn't aware she was holding, when his hand rested on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. This is just a lot to take in. And obviously, I have no idea how to be a girlfriend. I want to be. You have no idea how bad I want to be. But..I would do anything for you, Arthur. And it goes for Eames, as well. So it’s just a lot for me right now. I'm sorry. I should be totally fine with this. Not worrying....and apparently, rambling."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"You should be totally fine with your criminal boyfriend telling you he wants something serious with you and by the way I've got the hots for an old friend," he asked, arching a brow. "If you were okay with it, I'd be worried more." Except he was worrying, and confused.

"I don't want you to just say do it because you adore us," he murmured, using her word. "I want you to tell me what you're feeling and what you think of this. Now, when you have time to think, however you need to. And you know I think you're rambling is sweet."

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

Tucking a strand of hair out of her eyes, she gives him a small, faint nod. "Yeah, my rambling, isn't making any sense even to me at the moment. But I don't know. It's Eames. He is like my brother. So this has taken on a whole new level of something for me."

Pouring yet another glass of wine, because she doesn't know what else to do with herself. She gives Arthur a faint smile. "Stop calling yourself a criminal."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"New level of creepy," Arthur suggested, trying to make it a smile but it failed a bit. "I didn't mean to do this. I was just going to go back to... to how I've been but then there was Mal in a dream and..." And he closed his eyes a moment. "Not Mal as you knew her. Mal before all of that." How he remembered her most.

"I should have just left this alone. All of it." Withdrawn just as Eames was trying to do.

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

And her eyebrow quickly arched, looking at him with concern. "Wait, what? Mal was in your dream? Doing what?"

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"Not like that. Just... Like I said, the four of us were friends before. She and Dom were my family. She told me that I should tell you both because neither of you would leave me." He shrugged. "My wishful thinking," he murmured. "I understand even if it was a nice dream."

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

"Oh. Of course Im not leaving you. So Mal was just Mal. I get it." Sort of. After all she only knows Mal in dreams, one way. But she trusts Arthur, so she won't question it.

"So when are you going to talk to Eames?"

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"It was a real dream, I think. I wasn't connected," he said softly, trying to reassure her. "My mom... I lost her early and despite our ages, she was kind of a mom to me." He hadn't brought this up before, and never reminded Dom of that. Dom had been dealt the real blow in losing her, after all.

"Never?" He muttered the word, picking up the wine glass and downing it in two drinks. So much for no more drinking. "Ariadne, he shot himself to avoid talking to me. I can be persistent but even I have a limit." Now that he didn't want to quite throttle the man, he wasn't sure what to say.

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

She just nodded again, giving him a ghost of a smile. "Well, having her in a dream like that, it's a good thing. I'm sure she was an amazing person." And she was sure of that. It would only make sense, why someone would want to keep memories of someone amazing alive in their dreams, if she was.

"You need to talk to him. That or I will. I need to know what he wants." She said, nodding in thought to herself, debating on her courses of action. When Eames did make his choice.

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"She was." He said the words softly, shoulders straightening a bit as he dismissed the emotions that came with thinking about Mal.

"What is there to talk about? He shot himself," he said in a firm, rough voice. The sight had been painful, even if a dream. "He doesn't want to talk."

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

Furrowing her brow, she pursed her lips together and looked at him. "There is a lot to talk about. Because Arthur, you still care about him. Because, if you didn't you wouldn't have come storming over here, looking for him. And well, he still cares about you. And he is only hiding that emotion, for who the hell knows why. But he is. He doesn't do shit like that, for nothing. Obviously, you both need to work out things. Because, I can't sit here knowing, I'm standing in the way of something that could be. I'm sorry Arthur, but it's not fair to me." She said, looking at him with a sorry look. "As much as I love you. I can't sit by knowing you both are keeping shit hidden from each other. Just so you don't have to deal with it. Or hurt me."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"I came storming here because he is being a damn brat and upsetting us both and damned if I had arranged a job and then he took off to Morocco, where would that have left us?"

And now it was all Arthur logic, which was skewed as anyone else might be. "And neither of us knows he still cares for me. That could entirely be the problem, Ariadne. I pushed things the other night and now he's stuck in a corner, risking upsetting our working relationship or God knows what." And now he was seeing things one way. "When I called his bluff, he said it was for the best he wasn't around me, Ariadne. That isn't the talk of someone who has that kind of emotion."

His hand went to his suit pocket, pulling out the small moleskin book, not opening it but holding it. "You're not standing in the way of anything. God, how could you think that? How could you think either of us wants anything but you in our lives? You're right though. What I've done isn't fair. Not to either of you." He set the book down, straightening his tie, adjusting the knot. Physically clothing and emotional armor.

He stopped, staring at her. "What I've done hasn't been fair to either of you."

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

Ariadne just shook her head, looking down at the empty wine glass in front of her, not wanting to look up to long. "I know he cares about you. I'm not dumb. He doesn't shoot himself in the damn head, just to avoid a conversation like that, if he didn't care, he is hiding those feelings, that’s all. He thinks he doesn't deserve being happy, I know that, trust me. Why do you think, I push him so much in to this domestic lifestyle? I'm trying to show him he can be happy. And if being happy with you, is what you both need. Then who am I to stand in the way of you both? I would give anything to make you guys happy. Don't you see that?"

Glancing up at him a moment, she shrugged. "If I have to talk to him, so be it. I just need to know. I can't do this to myself. Maybe that is selfish of me. But honestly, I don't know what else to do. So when I talk to him, and he tells me he wants to be with you, which he will. You're going to do it, right?"

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"Ariadne, who are you? You're one of the few people in this world I will never let go of, and that is a very small list. You're his best friend. I can see that," he said, echoing her words. "No. I won't make you do that. I won't have you going to talk to him." Not when Mal had done it and was dead and he knew it wasn't the same but that didn't mean it didn't worry him.

"I never should have said anything. Not to him or you."

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

Running a hand down her face, buying her a moment to think. "Arthur. I want you to come to me with anything. And I mean anything. You know I would have figured something out, sooner or later. I'm too damn nosy not to."

"If you don't want me to talk to him, that's fine. I understand. I do not want to give you up for anything. I wish you knew just how damn much you mean to me. But I worry; I can't give you what he can. And I need you to be happy. So you need to talk to him. I need to know what to do. I'm sorry, but I need you to deal with this. Figure out what you want. Because, I can't sit and wonder. So please do this soon."

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

"Do you know the last time I dated I was still a teenager," he said softly. "And this is why. Emotions and I aren't exactly the best of friends. It's the one thing I handle poorly." Which was why his first thought was a new name, a new place, start over and let them have their life.

He opened his mouth to argue that she gave him so much more than he ever thought he had, that there was nothing in this world Eames could give him she couldn't. "Why do you think I can't be happy with you? That I'm not happy with you?" Picking back up the notebook, he held it tight in both hands.

[dreamsofmazes.livejournal.com]

"And do I look like I know anything about relationships Arthur?" She close the space between them, looking up at him, running her hand across his jawline. "I love you Arthur. I do. Trust me, I know I do. And I want you happy more then anything in the world. I just need to know how Eames feels." Because, if making you both happy means, stepping aside, she will. It's going to break her heart, but she will do it. Just to know he is happy.

[loadedparadox.livejournal.com]

His jaw tightened slightly, chin raising. Then he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him, needing more than anything to hide his face in that moment, pressing his cheek to the top of her head. "Why does it have to matter? I know how I feel about you. I know it is some of the most real emotions I have ever experienced." He wasn't sure he even knew the words she'd said, but he knew that he hated himself in that moment, and that was an emotion he'd never felt, not even when he realized how deeply he'd let Dom down.